Many married couples do not know the difference between communicating and talking and often they confuse the two. By communicating, it does not mean start talking. Often when couples are in marriage problems, one of the tips on rebuilding trust in a marriage is to learn how to communicate. Successful couples are the one who had learned how to express themselves to each other, simply by listening to each other.
Start by Listening To Your Spouse
When your spouse starts communicating, listening plays an important. This shows respect to your spouse. Respond appropriately by nodding your head, make eye contact to your partner to show that you are sincere and repeating back to your partner what you heard. When one partner starts to do all the talking, while the other does all the listening, then this is not communication.
Start by Sharing What Is On Your Mind
You may have experienced this before. You have something on your mind but you did not know how to say and therefore, decided not to tell your spouse. By doing this, you are creating a huge gulf between yourself and your spouse and when the issues exploded into quarrels and fights, you realized that you should have talk about it first!
Make a mental note or jot in down on a post-it to remind yourself that you need to discuss issues with your spouse. This creates an open communication pattern that will benefit both of you. Always try to share your thoughts and feelings with your spouse. Keeping it to yourself, in the long run, will hurt the both of you. Also your spouse is not a mind reader, so speak up.
Be Mindful Of The Way You Say It
Do you want a recipe for quarrels? Accuse your spouse is a sure way to start any quarrels. Do not say things in a way that allow your spouse to place a defensive wall in front of you. All your spouse will do is to listen and will not participate in any conversation with you. Instead, take a deep breadth, start slow and frame your words that will not come across as accusation or blaming your spouse. You do not want your spouse to start acting defensive.
Also, if you have something on your mind to discuss with your spouse, talking about important issues ten minute before you and your spouse head for a concert or dinner is a bad idea. Instead wait until later after your appointments had been fulfilled to discuss the issues.
All successful marriages require hard work from both parties. By learning how to effectively communicate in your marriage will make that work much easier and in return, will make your marriage relationship much stronger than before.